My Journey through Psychotherapies: How I found PBBT
Blog post written by Lior Gilad, Clinical Psychologist, Private Practice Jerusalem, Israel.
What I Find most Alluring about PBBT is its Radicalism
One can claim that out of all the ‘isms’, radicalism is the most demanding, and in that sense, the least forgiving towards laziness and shortcuts. When I look at my journey into PBBTing, I saw its radical nature. I could not ‘sort of’ get down to the core issues. I could not ‘kinda’ conceptualize. It wouldn’t be PBBT if I stayed in client descriptions and did not look for functional classes. I’d be feeding the old system unless I stood in the place where I’m a complete human with the client as the same – behaving creatures, more than our learning histories. So – radical behaviorism, radical acceptance, radical freedom. That’s what’s alluring for me in PBBT.
That’s what makes it such a demanding journey.
A Radical Framework Doesn’t Let you off the Hook, and in Return – Doesn’t Let you Down
As a clinician, PBBT keeps my eyes open, my mind working, and my behavior directed. The fact that the conceptualizations are bound to S+ functions ties my attention to ‘hardcore evidence’ in the room. One step at a time, conceptualization unfolds, S- functions are unveiled, and freedom is accessed. PBBT promotes dropping storytelling and fortune-telling, in the service of embracing all that is.
Including fair amounts of uncertainty and pain.
Practice what you Preach
One might ask, who would choose to invite into their life bigger portions of difficulty, uncertainty, and pain? Well, only those who know (without any self-deception), what real living means, and choose to walk a sustainable path. Only those who prioritize ethics and professionalism over feeling good and staying comfortable. It is not an easy path, it’s just more reliable. I don’t think I would have chosen this path, hadn’t I found myself – with my more challenging clients – spiraling in circles with my former maps. If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it. And if it is? Thank you, PBBT.
On a Personal Note
I’ve been teaching contextual behavioral psychotherapies for a few years now. For the younger me, teaching would seem like science fiction. I suffered from social anxiety and just thinking of talking in front of other people would make me shrink and avoid. Discovering Acceptance and Commitment Therapy a few years back brought with it the new ability to move with anxiety. That was much better than my old stance, and it allowed me to teach stuff I loved to others and discover I both enjoy it and do it rather well. But, the internal anxiety didn’t really change. To my surprise, it didn’t even diminish much.
Now PBBT. It took about 3 sentences from my PBBT therapist to cut the membrane that glued my self-worth with how I ‘do’ my work. This brought a clear sustainable change to my whole way of being. The content wasn’t even about me as a teacher, but still – the precision with which she targeted my dominant, overarching S+ was the exact intervention needed to dissolve the membrane. Though it was harsh to live through (she calls it a punchpad), it brought me the freedom I had already given up on. I know she knew exactly what she was doing and what she was targeting. I knew as well. It was released. I can now not only say I’m ‘more than my anxiety’, ‘not my anxiety’, or ‘moving with it’. It’s different, I’m free. That, for me, is the promise of PBBT.